Beauty in brokenness

Humans are wired by God in such a way, that longs for completeness, stability and peace.

Almost all humans also long to be in control of what they want to have control of.

Thus, they consciously (and unconsciously) build walls of comfort around them. Environments they choose, friends they choose, materials, and even maintaining desired status quo. All these things become their wall of fortress. Anything less than these means incompleteness. Anything less than these means "no peace". 

Brokenness is seen as a weakness. Fragility is not an option. Ouch.

For the past few weeks, God reminded me gently that brokenness is not a weakness. Because when we realize that we need to be fixed, its the very thing that draw us closer to God. God sees the beauty of brokenness. King David was broken many times, over and over again, through betrayal, hatred, threats, sin of his own, family matters, etc. Yet each time he was broken, he never fail coming to God. Just pouring out his heart to Him. One to one. No veil between them. 

Is the brokenness real? Yes.

Is it serious? Yes.

Is there sadness? Of course.

But do you notice? He was being honest to God in his brokenness.

God highly honors honest people. Because honesty is truthfulness. Honesty allows you to know the truth, and the truth will set you free (John 8:32). It could be painful; it could be not. But it will set you free. King David was set free after he was broken many times.

You may be someone who could memorize the whole Bible. You could be present in all church services. You could be a leader that people look up to. You could be just a backstage crew. It doesn't matter. If there is not honesty between you and God, God couldn't really work 100% in you.

God is a personal God. If He was serious enough to send Jesus to die for us on the cross, then we should be serious and honest enough to talk to Him and to see Him as our Father and Friend and King.

Personally, how amazing and comforting it is to know that we could be honest with Him! Just like friends. Even better. Abraham had a really close relationship with Him that He even negotiated with God! Now that's confidence, brotha ;)

Gently, slowly, God reminded me that even in brokenness, remember to always be honest with Him. No matter what. That's an important key to a healthy relationship (any relationship, really). Then, you'll gain confidence to enter into a more intimate, better relationship with Him.

In a new light, brokenness is beautiful

The beauty in brokenness prevails when there is an active, honest communication with Him and He personally took it away for a fix, while deepening your relationship with Him in the whole process.

Humility

God has been very gracious by being with us in our devotion time in class. We've (I've) learned a lot about humility the past one week. Here's some precious truths about being HUMBLE:

• Humility says, "More of you, less of me"
• Humility birthed true obedience. Philippians 2:8 "... he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death..."
• Being humble doesn't mean you're weak. It means you trust God enough that you choose not to rely on yourself/ your own understanding.
• Humility relates greatly to servanthood. You can't be humble if you're not willing to serve others and ultimately - God.
• Humility is not self-conscious or self-exalting.
• True humility is motivated by true love.
• Being humble doesn't make you weak. It makes you strong and have confidence.
• True humility is the opposite of pride. And pride is the ultimate reason for Satan's downfall. Think.

First Fruit Gathering: 4-6 June

Sabah is known to be the land below the wind. I love Sabah. I thank God for putting me here. I always know that the birthplace of everyone is never a coincidence. (If things are coincidence, then our existence is a mistake. Coincidence means something that is not planned. Then, we are actually saying that God is a mistake!) No, God is SUPREME AND JUST. To begin to understand God fully is like trying to fit in the whole oceans into a small hole. Its impossible. Yet, this same God created us and called us His Precious! His thoughts toward us are so vast and mind-blowing. David said that in the book of Psalm : "How precious are your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!"

Our God is intentional when He decided to create you and me. So that He can love us unconditionally. We are not an accident. Isn't that awesome? If I were to have children, I would make sure they know this foundation truth! I am thankful for a mother who intentionally told me about this truth as I was growing up.

So, all of us are placed on earth for a purpose and calling. Last month we have the second Malaysia Gathering in KL. The theme was First Fruit. During the pre-gathering, I felt an unspeakable excitement and burning in me because I know for sure God is going to do something that we have not expected. True enough, we entered into realm after realm that we have not entered before. The first day of the gathering, the first people of the land (Anak Negeri & Orang Asli) was presented before the Lord. Its amazing to see a lot of brothers and sisters in Christ among the Orang Asli, Chinese and Indians turned up. Its a family reunion! :)

The gathering starts on 4 June night, and it falls exactly on Pentecost! The leaders didn't know about this when they decided on the date. Holy Spirit came and swept us away for the next three days. Papa David shared about be careful when the enemy is trying to put us in a neutral zone, where we don't slip black nor move forward. This is what its called as the attack of dullness. I was reminded in Revelation 3:15 "I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish you were one or the other!" Nothing is more worse than being lukewarm. Also, there is an ancient sound in the land that the enemy has forgotten. This ancient sound is the voice of the Orang Asli and the Anak Negeri. Now is the time for this sound to rise up and take authority in the spiritual realm. The enemy fear this sound. We also offered up our first fruit offering which is our worship and praise as we consecrate ourselves before the Lord simply because He is worthy of all the praise!

On the second day of the gathering, spiritual groaning took place during worship. At first there was an intense silence but the moment the flute came in, people started to weep, travail, and groan in the spirit. Romans 8:26 says " We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." It was unexpected but Holy Spirit knows best. I personally also felt that the atmosphere of the convention centre is almost similar to a labor room. Something was birthed that day. 
There was a Scripture passage given to the people in Sabah, Sarawak and Peninsular Malaysia for 3 times. The leaders felt that if God is speaking about it for 3 times, it means something. This passage was Isaiah 54. Hence, all the leaders did a prophetic act of enlarging the tent, stretching the tent curtains wide, lengthening the cords, and strengthening the stakes. It speaks to the spiritual and spiritual realm that the land is no longer barren but it will be fruitful!

On the last day, 6 June 2014, it is a new day. It is a new season. The Lord has been leading us is an unusual way. We have not walked this way before. Papa David mentioned that we are in a season where many prophets are speaking of. This new thing, or season, is not only for Malaysia but for nations. However, because of Malaysia's role for nations, this is a pivotal and critical moment for Malaysia to enter into her destiny. We need to positioned ourselves before the Lord, like an army positioned themselves until their commander gives the command. As an army of God, we reported for duty. And because the things that we do speaks loudly in the spiritual realm, we need to make a sacrifice of faith that says "We believe!" When people of God began to see and hear with their spiritual eyes and ears, there will be a substance that will cause them to move forward.

"Behold! The bride of Malaysia is marching to the nations, following the Lion of Judah!"

Indeed, the gathering birthed something new in Malaysia. And whenever there's a new season, there's joy and wisdom, but there's also resistance. Therefore, the most important thing is to keep on track with God, fix our eyes upon Him and constantly be in fellowship with the Holy Spirit.

Lord, I report for duty.

Your servant.

p.s.- 6 June was also my baptism(or I prefer wedding) day. I was reminded of this only after the gathering.

Best timing.

I've come to realization that for all the years since I first decided to follow Him, His timing is always the best. It is no coincidence that now I am in Tung Ling Seminary, studying deeper of His Words. It always makes me so grateful, thinking back of how He prepare me before going off to Tung Ling. 

You see, I often have difficulty in expressing myself, my thoughts to people. Although I get it in my head, I can't really deliver it clearly (at times.) So i'm gonna try and express it by writing it down, since I know writing is one of the good things i can do. Apart from the financial situation that God had helped me through (and recently, a pleasant news that sustains me until now ^^), I felt that this 3 months are so intense and exciting that I find myself always looking forward to see what's next! Classes were fun and exciting. The lecturers were great teachers and comedians (this is true in every class.) Friends were great as well. We get along well and just knowing them is a blessing for me. But above all of what I've mentioned, there is something divine that is shifting and moving me into seeing a greater revelation (which I can't really explain clearly). Day by day, it just confirms what God has put in my heart all this years. The burden for the young people. Especially the natives in Sabah (to be specific). Even before I heard of Jubilee year and PAN, that burden was there. For a period of time, I thought it was gone and no longer there. But it has just gotten heavier and I often felt the tug in me to pray for them.

During FJM in Kuala Lipis, I was blown away at seeing how God moves. Tabitha and I were given the chance to share our hearts from the view of young people of Sabah & Sarawak. [You see, the reason why I'm posting this is because I've figured out that I cannot this matter linger in my head without telling people about it. And simply because I am CONVICTED.] To simplify what both of us shared, it is about yearning to see the young people to grasp the vision that the leaders have (which God has put in their heart) and not just wander/follow leaders without OWNING the vision. Its very easy to just follow and do what is told by people. But it is a very different thing to own the vision and do what God tells you to do (be it through leaders or personal conviction). I cannot imagine Jesus' 12 disciples simply followed Him, not having any vision or idea why they did. If they did, they wouldn't be delegated and change the world! Years after years will pass by. By then, some leaders might not be around anymore. Think about the next generation. Its not about positions or whatsoever, but the main thing is to do God's will and let His will alone be done. 

We need each other. I have so much to share but I'll just end here for now. Let's keep praying. And until Jesus come for the second time, let's live for Him and Him alone. And God's timing is the best. Always will. :)

Be blessed.

Athena

Life.

Life's not fair. That is one of the most favorite phrase people love to say.

But if life is fair, then it is not life anymore. As much as we get frustrated with life, God has much much to offer us, IF we only take heed of His Words. Everything was broken since the major incident in garden of Eden. So basically, its not a surprise that we have this so-called 'unfair' life.

Some of us are born rich, some poor and some average. Some were born with a genius mind, etc. But all of us were created in God's image. So you have totally NO SAY or be PROUD of what you have. Not even lucky! God planned it all. But here's the interesting part, you see... Every obstacle in life, consider it an opportunity for a greater JOY! The problems or difficulties that you are facing with right now is actually an opportunity for you to grow. After that problem is solved, then it will become a blessing to those who hears it. 

The topic we had earlier today in class is one topic that you don't get often. It reveals what your heart's content is. And yes, it opens up my eyes in a new light. After understanding it, you can't even comprehend the depth, the length, the height and the width of Father's heart for His children. After learning and taste a bit of the Father's heart, life makes more sense in knowing that His love is unconditional, strengthens you and brings tremendous healing!

Taken care of

So, its less than a week. *Counting the days down*
Got my schedule already (Excited) and preparing things. I'm glad I have more time at home these days.

Recently, I've met a good, old friend of mine (unplanned) and had a wonderful time talking to her about things that God is doing in our lives. I was actually quite shocked seeing her because few days before that somehow I was thinking how is she doing nowadays. Glad to know she's doing well and I was surprised listening to her testimony! We shared the same desire of seeing the body of Christ to be united in prayer and fellowship. She is, in fact, one of my friends in Christ who encouraged, prayed and supported me all through the times since I first believed. The interesting part is this: We seldom meet up. But when we do, it will always leave a memory in me. I thank God for such a friend.

Going for SOM is exciting but thinking of the expenses I need while I'm there, well, I can't say I'm not thinking about it. It worries me (in a way). But God's Word says 'He will provide' because 'we are His children' and that 'He will never abandon us nor forsake us'. So holding onto this, I cast all my anxieties to Him. Recently, in church services, during the tithes offering, I've been giving my LAST note of money. With faith, believing He will take care of me. 

[For early info: We used to collect offerings back in Labuan and these money are used for our ministry back then. So after Labuan, we go to different Uni and my friend kept the money and pass it to another friend, and lastly it was passed to me. I hadn't opened it for ages. I even almost forgot I keep it with me all this time.] 

Couple of days ago, I received a text message from this same friend of mine whom I met recently. She asked about the money. She explained that she has asked the others' opinion and they've agreed to let me use it for my 3months study. I was taken aback and speechless for a moment of time (too speechless to reply, in fact). See, God is so good! He knows our needs and He is our provider. Have faith! :)

Grateful and blessed.

Be blessed!

Nethy. Athena.

Thinker.

A random post: One fact of me is that I think a lot. [And also talk A LOT when I'm with those I'm comfortable with. My former maid actually gave me a nickname which means talkative. Hah.] Sometimes so many thoughts are playing in my mind that most of the time I do not know how to speak it out orderly, which leads to being silent. Its kinda frustrating for me to be unable to speak out when you actually wanna say something. And sometimes these thoughts are so many and overwhelming that it can even confuse me.

But thank God for His Words. It says in 2 Corinthians 10:5 that we "fight to capture every thought until it acknowledges the authority of Christ." I listened to this scripture many times before but I couldn't really understand it or apply it practically. What was conceived in this mind of mine is that, most thoughts (except those that are clearly negative ones) are acceptable and debatable. Instead of our thoughts controlling us (and our actions), we are in control of them and we even have the power to block, allow and deny access into our mind. 

Then I'm reminded by Romans 12:2 where it talks about the renewal of mind that brings transformation. During my dark age (as how Debbie say it), I always give in to those discouraging thoughts. What I think basically begin to show in how I act and how I live. Now, it is still a constant battle. But thank God for His Words and revelation, I've learned to fight a good fight. It may seem hard at times but we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13).

Be blessed,

Nethy

A day to bless Malaysia!

Last sunday, 16 September 2012, the whole body of Christ in KK and beyond witnessed and celebrated Malaysia Day together in two big, significant venues - Padang Merdeka & Stadium Likas.

Different venues with the same purpose - A day to bless Malaysia! =)

The morning service starts at 8AM in Padang M.

The praise & worship team, all dressed in their respective traditional attires, led the congregation into deep worship. A very meaningful, solemn morning service I would say. Because exactly 8AM, 49 years ago (16 September 1963), a very meaningful, solemn event has taken place in the same venue.

It was a very touching moment when Pastor Jerry prayed for the land and ask God for forgiveness for our past leaders. I thought I was the only one who got emotional on that. It turns out most of the others felt the same thing! And with so many young people who came and join together in prayer, worship and sitting under the hot burning sun was delightful as well. We even took the Lord's supper together at the end of the service! 

Watching the native leaders to take the lead and made strong, firm declarations of God's words upon the land and the people (everyone!) moved me into thinking - "This is gonna be historical. And we're all watching history in the making." 

Heaven watched. Angels watched. It was awesome! 

 

(Photos courtesy of IterDesly)

(Photo courtesy of Pastor Halbert)

The evening celebration was joyful and awesome as well! Energetic and passionate worship team. Tambouriners. Banner bearers. Flag bearers. Drummers. Shofarers. God is moving people!!

We had a scary weather the night before and we had some disturbances technically. But praise God! He is able to do all things! We had a great night of celebration and fireworks. =)

Witnessing different churches joining in together is simply amazing...! 

Over 10,000 people came. And I'm sure everyone is blessed to be a blessing.

All glory to God. Forever and ever. Amen.

At Stadium Likas

(Photo courtesy of SN)

Be reminded that...

Obedience is better than sacrifice.

Humility & Fear of the Lord.

Worship in Spirit and in Truth.

The Way, the Truth & the Life.

Pray without ceasing.

Meditate on God's Words.

The Truth will set us free.

Watch and pray.

Be still and know that He is Lord.

Last but not least, 

Be prepared!

Keep your hands clean and your cloth white!