Hike + Relationship

I once told Gan that his blog is haunted because it's outdated. I chuckled as I stand in that same spot now, too. My last post was, I  think, about 1 year ago. Seriously honestly, I have only been blogging in this brain of mine. If that's not the case, then it will be journalism. Have I mentioned how I loooooove journaling?? Contrary to what people said, journalism is more than a therapeutic thing to do. The spiritual journal that I have is precious conversation between me and Abba. It's a safe place for me to express myself. Spiritual journalism helped me in a tremendous way. Being an introvert, words are many in my brain than in speech (although I have somehow learned to become extrovert in a way, at times, I do get wordy. P.s.- Gan can testify this hoho)

There was once when I was at a low point, I felt a nudge to read up one of my earliest journal book back in 2009. It was mind-blowing and eye-opening! God has been so so rich in His goodness. I read and read, and although it was written by me, it felt like Abba was consoling me over and over again. I couldn't help but broke down in tears. Even words are so limited to describe that moment.

These few weeks I am reminded again of His favor. That He, stedfastly, is with me. Yesterday, our youth group went for a hike to the Crocker Range. What I thought to be a 3-hours hike turned out to be 4-hours hike. My last, long hike was years ago and so, I felt like an old grandma going up the hill by foot (okay, maybe not as old as a grandma, but my point is - IT'S TIRING)

When we started, it was easy and fun. Then it became challenging as we hike to a higher altitude. Soon, we began panting heavily. The too-relaxed-muscles began to work and contract. As we reached a stretch of palm trees, Fenella said, "This is Forgetful Green!" Now, Forgetful Green she referred to was a place in a book that she just read, where people tend to forget their main purpose/focus/destination. Often, it was because of the attractions of the surrounding or influences that distracts. As we hike further up, it became clear that we need to rest. We continued for the steeper slope and just longing to reach our destination. After 2 full hours, we finally made it!

Life is as such. There are times to walk on, time to slow down, time to rest. However, I learned that the journey is worth it because of the destination that awaits, the company around us that encourages and God's presence that assures & empowers.

(When we reached our destination during the hike, the funny thing was this: Fenella said OK now it's times for us to go back because God says our job is not done yet! haha..)

Moving on...

Today -  marks 2 full years with Gan (YAY!). He is my bestfriend and a man that is after God's heart (and after my heart. No no, I'm kidding. But not really kidding.) I remembered when I first met him, being only as friends, I was being very, very stereotypical about relationship. Like, VERY. I would intelligently predict his motives based on his actions and tried to make conclusion in my brain that his true color would show over the time. Ugh. Ugly truth but, that was how it started. Nevertheless, he was amazingly calm (or, look calm) and wasn't being defensive. That was one of the reasons when I realized he was a very friendly, good guy. We get along well and became good friends.

[Long story cut short] After some years of friendship, prior to going in a relationship, he met with my parents for blessing. Now, let me tell you - this wasn't our custom. Normally, boys and girls hook up with anyone, without anyone's knowing. (I can testify to this, too) So I had some time of my own to process this when Gan brought it up. The day came when he sat down with my parents and dined together. And talked. And it was a good night. I didn't expect to have such a feeling, at that moment. Not only we were already officially a couple, but there was something more. He honored my parents. And that is one thing that I am truly grateful for!

There was ups and downs in our relationship. Needless to say, this is totally normal in any relationship. I would say, in short, over the 2 years, we have learned to respect one another, communicate better, encourage one another better, speak truth to one another, pray for one another and love one another. And I know both of us would say, this would not have been possible if Abba is not in it. In fact, being both leaders, our big heads got bigger sometimes, and there are numerous times when we felt that Abba is teaching us to be humble to one another. Now "that" is something powerful in a relationship. If we are not humble, either one of us will have dominion over the other (And we are no Adam & Eve or whatsoever). Thank You, Abba...

Wow, I would never thought I would write this down in a post. However, I thought it will somehow bless others. So, be blessed!

Nethy.

God is still in control.

Life in Subang. Its 2 weeks more to go and we welcomed our new housemate Jacquelina! She decided to move in with us due to the long distance from her place. Things are going well here. Everyone is quite busy and handful with the practices and preparation for the graduation next week. Lessons are getting more interesting and intense. I can't be grateful enough for everything that God has done for all these times. Helped me a lot to think and see things through different perspectives. Today we learned about the book of Amos. Talks about the injustice of the heathen and non-heathen nations and God's judgement over them. 

Moving on......

GE13. Recently there's a lot of buzz about the nation's 13th general election. Be it before, during or after. Being a first time voter, I am really proud to be able to cast my vote. It is an exciting moment and unforgettable moment. Among our line on the polling day are all the young voters as well. The atmosphere that day was, of course, very HOT, but its quite exciting! Waiting the result at night was exciting as well. Opened all sources of information (that is, honest information). It was a long night that I literally fell sleep while waiting. Waking up in the middle of the night, the result was already out by then. Well, we all know it. I shall not write it down again as it was all around Facebook and Twitter and ETC.. I could post a long essay on GE13 but I would hold it until here. 

No matter what, God is still in control!
And its just amazing when you pause and ponder, that God is omniscient. That means He knows what is to come. Lets keep praying and rise up for the kingdom of God is near!


Nethy.

Best timing.

I've come to realization that for all the years since I first decided to follow Him, His timing is always the best. It is no coincidence that now I am in Tung Ling Seminary, studying deeper of His Words. It always makes me so grateful, thinking back of how He prepare me before going off to Tung Ling. 

You see, I often have difficulty in expressing myself, my thoughts to people. Although I get it in my head, I can't really deliver it clearly (at times.) So i'm gonna try and express it by writing it down, since I know writing is one of the good things i can do. Apart from the financial situation that God had helped me through (and recently, a pleasant news that sustains me until now ^^), I felt that this 3 months are so intense and exciting that I find myself always looking forward to see what's next! Classes were fun and exciting. The lecturers were great teachers and comedians (this is true in every class.) Friends were great as well. We get along well and just knowing them is a blessing for me. But above all of what I've mentioned, there is something divine that is shifting and moving me into seeing a greater revelation (which I can't really explain clearly). Day by day, it just confirms what God has put in my heart all this years. The burden for the young people. Especially the natives in Sabah (to be specific). Even before I heard of Jubilee year and PAN, that burden was there. For a period of time, I thought it was gone and no longer there. But it has just gotten heavier and I often felt the tug in me to pray for them.

During FJM in Kuala Lipis, I was blown away at seeing how God moves. Tabitha and I were given the chance to share our hearts from the view of young people of Sabah & Sarawak. [You see, the reason why I'm posting this is because I've figured out that I cannot this matter linger in my head without telling people about it. And simply because I am CONVICTED.] To simplify what both of us shared, it is about yearning to see the young people to grasp the vision that the leaders have (which God has put in their heart) and not just wander/follow leaders without OWNING the vision. Its very easy to just follow and do what is told by people. But it is a very different thing to own the vision and do what God tells you to do (be it through leaders or personal conviction). I cannot imagine Jesus' 12 disciples simply followed Him, not having any vision or idea why they did. If they did, they wouldn't be delegated and change the world! Years after years will pass by. By then, some leaders might not be around anymore. Think about the next generation. Its not about positions or whatsoever, but the main thing is to do God's will and let His will alone be done. 

We need each other. I have so much to share but I'll just end here for now. Let's keep praying. And until Jesus come for the second time, let's live for Him and Him alone. And God's timing is the best. Always will. :)

Be blessed.

Athena

What's next?

...is a question I've been questioning God since.

"Wait on Him. Wait on His voice."

Its been a pretty amazing days, these past few days, I felt the fear of the Lord is awakening like never before. Never had I felt so scared with what's coming. We had couple of prayer meetings few days back and I remember just crying out and prayer in tears. You know why? Here is what I'm about to share. 

While listening to Pastors's message in church, one of the intercessors hand me over the programme book for 16Sept'12 morning service. Yes, the one with Eagle and Lion on the cover. She said to me "Keep this. 50 years later we won't be able to witness this anymore." Of course, she said it casually. I laughed lightly as well. But something strikes within me deeply. I don't know what is it. I was just fearful. How is it gonna be 50 years later? Its a long way to go but that's what I was thinking at that moment. 

The next thing I knew, the burden came from IDontKnowWhere. I was crying out for the younger generations. How many out there are God fearing? I don't know. But I'm positive there is! 

My fear is that we're gonna burn passionately but only for some time and then the disease of being lukewarm will come and infect us. 
My fear is that we'll lose our patience in the process of waiting on God's voice and act on our own. Too many of 'actions' but less of 'praying'.

I committed everything to the LORD. No matter what people might say, let Him lead the way and just follow Him, shall we?
Prophet Jeremiah was spreading God's word to the people, but they don't listen.
A list of prophets came after that and not all hear them out and obey. There is a 400 years of silence before the times New testament starts. Not even one prophet. There must be a reason for that. Let's set our focus right, made right with God and start to care for the younger generations.

Let's pray for the strength to be patient and wait upon the LORD.
Let's keep on praying and crying out for the younger generations, the current generation, the body of Christ, the country, more revelation from above and let's walk hand in hand until we experience breakthrough and beyond, that reaches to the ends of this earth!

Be blessed!
Nethy.

Iron sharpens Iron

During my first year in campus, I remember waiting for Sue, Kenny and Oyoe to finish class on every Friday and heads off to Glory Place to fellowship together. If one of us is still having class, the rest of us would go to the Piano room while waiting. We would sing and chit chat and laugh and sing some more…

I remember the times in Glory Place where the four of us just pray and worship together, sharing the Word and simply fellowship without any agenda prepared, just hearts seeking God more and more. We would advise one another, pray for one another, intercede, build and even correct one another. It doesn't matter what is our church background because we serve the same God. And trust me, God definitely wouldn't ask about it during judgement. 

After all the busyness in Uni life, minus everything, thinking back of those moments (and others not mentioned here) I am very blessed to have such friends in Christ. J As time goes by, I know we would head for different paths but I know one thing: friendship in Christ would last forever. 

Yet, my bestfriend ever would still be Jesus. He’s the best. Ever. Ever heard of Him? He’s there every second of my life. He can hear my deepest thought although I tried to hide it from everyone. My every doubts and uncertainties are calmed by His reassuring Word of truth. My ugliest secret? He knew it. But He never avoid me, but came to my rescue when I call on His name. My weakness? …is my strength because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens when I am weak. How amazing it is to have such friend! ^^

My point of blogging this post?

Well, the bottom line is that - precious friends may come and go or stay and go. But we should not take lightly of our eternal friend and King and Saviour because He come and stay with us forever. :)

Be blessed!

Blessed Good Friday!

You know Good Friday doesn't mean that friday is good, right? Here I am, after a long time of silence in this blog, just wanna share about what God's goodness. Not only on friday, but everyday...

Busyness. its a word not all people likes. I am one of them. But like it or not, I am bound to finish my lab work ASAP. So, the night before friday i went to lab and work there overnight. As i was driving to campus that evening, I was talking to God casually, speaking in tongue and just talk, in other words - pray. I was reflecting on what He has done on the cross 2012 years back. As i was praying, i realized how much i miss Him. thinking back, my life had been so busy. I truly misses Him.

When i finished my work in lab at 7AM (Yes, a sleepless night indeed), i went home and had only a nap. Then, we went to church for Good Friday service at 10AM. We are all fasting and praying on that day. In the beginning, i wasn't feeling that sleepy. But when it comes to afternoon, it seems almost automatically that my eyes shuts down itself. It was after a testimony that i felt my spirit began to stir slowly. Pastor realized many people are sleepy during that time and she said Do not sleep but try to activate your spirit! I was very sleepy at that moment. Very2 sleepy. I try to ignore my tiredness but i just couldn't help it. But slowly, one at a time, my spirit was being stirred without me realizing it. When we worship that afternoon, i remember myself just giving thanks for Jesus' blood. But as i keep on repeating and giving thanks, something took over me. I felt its as if my SOUL is giving thanks to Him in a great manner. I was overwhelmed! I quickly took a tambourine and began to shake it. As we go more into the worship atmosphere, very quickly, my sleepiness seemed to subside for the time being and i felt my innerman craving for more and more of Him. God is awesome!!

That is why I am a strong believer in God Almighty. (Okay now she's preaching u might say but can u help it if u're in looove with someone? U must tell ur friends or wait, tell the world, right? Now same to this case of mine.) As problems come and as people come and go, guess what, God is faithful. It is just His nature and nothing can beat that. Not even a boyfriend or a husband or a bestfriend. How i wish people could realize that and began to see Him through the problems. God is awesome. What I experienced yesterday only brought me closer to Him.

I hope what I'm sharing here is clear. When my sleepiness was stronger than my desire to worship Him that afternoon, I slowly come to Him JUST AS I AM. As i give thanks to Him, I was only speaking it out but my mind still in a state of exhaustion. However, when i press on (Yes, press on), something happened. My mind and thoughts were brought to captives to the mind of Christ! And as evening comes, I was soaked with gratitude. The cross. His blood. His love for us all. :)

God bless and be blessed!

I am in love. Period.

I had a great time recently in my prayer time. God has been faithful. There are so many things that He revealed to me. And i am so so SO much grateful. Indeed, i am in love with Jesus more than before. My life couldnt've been better without Him. 


Having Him in my life feels just... hmm..awesome... :)


Today is valentine's day. There are people who celebrate this day. Some don't. Some people even argued regarding this day. As for me, i have no feeling at all. It didn't bother me if i celebrate it or not...since i am already in love every day with Him. ^^ There's a verse in Scripture that says "I (God) have loved you with an everlasting love." What a wonderful statement! 


Here's a song that express how my heart overflows right now. Peace. Secured. Loved. And i believe there is more than life... It's a song sang by Kari Jobe called "I'm in Love With You". Be blessed. :)

Can I sing You a song 
Can I pour out my heart 
To say Your love is healing me 
Just a glimpse of Your grace 
And my whole world is changed 
Forever and completely 

I’m in love with You 
I’m in love with You 
I’m in love with You 
I’m in love with You 

Redeemed, made whole 
By the love that You have poured out over my soul 
Restored, I am made new 
Father You only You

The Lord protects.

Last Sunday night, the four of us went to watch movie. The earlier show was full already. So we grab the next one, which starts a bit late (Actually more than a bit). By the time the movie ended, it was passed midnight. We headed straight home after that. Here's what happen...

On the way back from Suria, as we are approaching the traffic light in front of All Saints church (the car is moving at normal speed), we all heard a sharp sound far behind us. Few seconds later, (at high speed) , a mini van just hit the side of our car, sliding all along it including breaking off the side mirror and ran off just like that. We all had the shock. I know I do. Very shocked indeed, because the crash aimed directly at where i sat [behind the passenger sit]. (What puzzles me is that, I totally didn't let out any scream.) I was resting my head near to the door and when the van crash the side of the car, I bolted and Debbie (shocked, too) quickly grabbed and hugged me tightly.

Totally shocked and speechless, I found myself praying for all of us, part of me are mad at the mini van's driver. "He must've been drunk", I thought. Which turns out true when we came across the mini van (now driving slowly but was NOT driving straight). We didn't plan to search for the van, yet we were glad we out it. The driver is totally, TOTALLY drunk. But he tried his best to apologize and pay back what had been damaged.

A part of me was angry because the way he drive earlier could've harmed lives. Part of me was shocked. I was physically trembling from the experience and especially thinking back the sound and impact I had earlier. "I could almost die", thinking back then. Part of me, however, pitied the van driver. He was messed up and he looked young. His friend who was with him in the van explained to us that they were from a pub and she don't know how to drive so all she could do was accompany him while he is driving. Bad decision. He should've called his friend or family to pick him up at the pub. Debbie let out a shout/scold to the lady about being drunk and still driving. Anyhow, it was sad to see drunk people. Not only they are not themselves, they are causing unwanted troubles, be it car accidents or anything in the list.

After all of us got home, I couldn't really sleep. I prayed and couldn't stop thanking the Lord for the protection upon us. Though some might call it 'luck', for me its not. I know we are all under His protection. Thank You, Lord. I also called a friend of mine, telling the story again to relief myself. If ever my friends or families would be drunk and still wanna drive, after all advises failed, my last choice would be to knock him off in the head or anywhere OR throw a pail of ice cold water at him to wake him up. (Okay, urm, that's mean of me. :-s )

How I thank Him for what He's done! The Lord protects those under His covering. So dwell in Him always, surrender every situation into His hand and He will direct you to the best destination.

Be blessed,
Nethy.

Be reminded that...

Obedience is better than sacrifice.

Humility & Fear of the Lord.

Worship in Spirit and in Truth.

The Way, the Truth & the Life.

Pray without ceasing.

Meditate on God's Words.

The Truth will set us free.

Watch and pray.

Be still and know that He is Lord.

Last but not least, 

Be prepared!

Keep your hands clean and your cloth white!