At that low point, I couldn't find a way to rejoice or even feel His closeness. It was about time to go for prayer meeting and my mind tells me, "You can skip one night. It's OK."
At that low point, I was negotiating within my brain - to go or not to go.
At that low point, I was ready to give in to my reasoning and physical emotions.
But somehow, I knew. I knew where I should be at that moment. In His house. In His presence.
So before my human mind made up its mind, I take control of every thought and decided to go.
As soon as we enter into a time of worship, God began working in me. The tears are flowing as if they are waiting to be released into the open. I felt His hands embracing me and restoring me. I could feel His love dancing over me, inviting me to dance with Him. And so it continued, for what it seems for more than an hour. In His deep, tangible presence. And at the end, I knew. I was restored. The tears that flowed out was replaced by living water - Jesus Himself. The burden was lifted. Or it became lighter. And I heard Him saying, "Look to me. Fix your eyes upon me." In a serious tone. Like a loving Father saying to a helpless child.
And then I knew. I was rest assured. He is always with me. And the joy of knowing that, and His unstoppable love, is beyond ah-ma-zing !
Come before God (not man) and cry out to Him (not man) for what person could be more better than the One who loved us first?
And I can tell you that you can smile before man. And any situations seems bearable simply because that joy in you weighs more than your problems and situations.
Love,
Nethy
